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Author Topic: Funny Christian Pick up lines  (Read 8987 times)

MrMascotMan

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Funny Christian Pick up lines
« on: August 31, 2009, 08:24:44 PM »
be warned...some of these aren't the funniest in the world and some of them make no sense at all, found this on a facebook group and thought it was pretty cool.

1. "nice bible."

2. "is this pew taken?"

3. "i just don't feel called to celibacy."

4. "for you i would slay two Goliaths"

5. "i would go through more than Job for you"

6. "you are perfect, except with all the sin."

7. "when Moses struck the rock, water flowed from it like a river. i promise i will never strike you."

8. "you are so unblemished that i would sacrifice you."

9. "what, this here? oh.. thats my study bible - it's a little bigger but i can handle the extra spiritual and physical weight."

10. "shall we tithe?"

11. "at points in my life i have been referred to as Samson"

12. "the word says 'Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry'; how about dinner?"

13. "i didnt believe in predestination until tonight."

14. "im not like those other Christ Church guys."

15. "i believe one of my ribs belongs to you."

16. "i know Lachlan Payne."

17. (if no.16 gains no response) "Lachlan Payne knows me"

18. "i went on a beach mission but all I ended up doing was mission you."

19. "i can be your Boaz."

20. "my spiritual gift is my good looks... it lifts peoples spirits"

21. "i sacrifice my sunday mornings to look after the creche group. its tough... but i love children."

22. "is this the transfiguration.. because you are glowing"

23. "i have a job and im willing to move out of home."

24. "mark driscoll takes up 35% of my ipod memory."

25. "hey.. i would work 7 years for your sister.. but i would work 7 more years for you."

26. "im kind of a big deal at Koorong"

27. "hey good-looking, Ecclesiastes 4:11..."

28. "absolutely. i often throw clothes into the samaritan bin."

29. "bible-gateway happens to be my homepage."

30. "im a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am."

31. "marry me."

32. "can I buy you a non-alcoholic beverage?"

33. "i have many sponsor children. one in each developing nation."

34. " im one of the fortunate ones..greek and hebrew come pretty easily to me."

35. "my favourite species of vegetation is the church plant."

36. "did i just have mud rubbed in my eyes?"

37. "what's an xbox?"

38. "now i know why Solomon had 700 wives... Because he never met you."

39. "i used to believe in natural theology, but since i met you i've converted to divine revelation"

40. "i look after widows"

41. "is that a thinline, duo-tone, compact, ESV Travel Bible in your pocket"

42. "why dont i have a bible dictionary? well, i dont really need it."

43. "bathsheba had nothing on you"

44. ''you put the 'cute' back in persecution...''

45. "your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead"

46. "so, can i clothe you in righteousness?"

47. "how many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me?"

48. "how would you like to join my Purpose Driven Life?"

49. "if you say no, i will rip out my hair and my beard"

50. "if you say no, im going to tear my clothes, get in my sackcloth and rub dust into my head.."

51. "if you say no, i'm going on a pilgrimage."

52. "unfortunately i cant perform miracles and ive only got enough bread and fish for 2 people."

53. "so, my parents are home, you wanna come over?"

54. "let me remove my sandals before I come any closer.."

55. "lets say, hypothetically, you were married. I would send your husband to the front line against the Amorites"

56. "its obvious to me that you sprouted from the good kinda soil..."

57. "feel free to meet me at the threshing floor."

58. "you can lie at my feet.."

59. "i know its absurd, but every time i walk towards you, it feels like im being lead to bethlehem."

60. "if i had to choose between a romantic date with you or a night with the fellas... i would sit at home and read my bible."

61. "i really like your spirituality, it goes well with that shirt."

62. "welcome to the christian family... the only family where brothers and sisters can marry each other"

63. "i did a love tester on your name and mine.. it came back 'predestined'"

64. "you're totally depraved but i'd still like to go out with you..."

65. "you can come crash at mine tonight. i have a separate room prepared."

66. "i'm a proverbs 32 kind of guy and you're a proverbs 31 kinda woman..."

67. "im interested in full time ministry, and not only that... i also play the guitar."

68. "mmm... you really have to watch out for that man of lawlessness.. but dont worry, im not him, so you're safe with me."

69. "if we were around with noah... then you, me... pair."

70. "i arrange the substantial christian section of my bookshelf into alphabetical order. coffee?"

71. "i sit with my mum at church"

72. "let me sell you an indulgence because it's a sin to look as good as you do."

73. "not a big fan of your last name, but thats cool, i can change that."

74. "Solomon had 700 wives. You can be my 2nd girlfriend. But bring your friends."

75. "i have a bible verse tattoo. its permanent. its also in ancient greek."

76. "i consider myself to be fisher of women. this would be referred to as "casting my net"."

77. "i'm pretty much considered an elder in the congregation these days"

78. "it would be my honor to present you spotless on the last day."

79." Me. You. Song of Songs: the remix."

80. "when i read philippians 4:8, i think about you."

81. "i would leave 99 sheep to come and find you... and then i would carry you home joyfully on my shoulder"

82. "i prayed up the front at church tonight."

83. "im developing the newest form of singstar: hymns and songs of worship."

84."look, you're nearly 22. most christians are 3 years into marriage by now... just settle for me."

85. "i come from Egypt... the same place Moses lived."

86. "my general biblical knowledge is quite vast, probably because i finished bible trivia as a child."

87. "who's your favorite apostle?"

88. "you make the Queen of Sheba look like a hobo."

89. "i have familiarised myself with all 5 love languages, in fact, i invented 4 of them."

90. "let's go for a ride in my zondervan"

91. "I like to think that I'm all things to all women."

92. "have you died before? because that looks like a resurrection body to me.."

93. 'all im looking for is a Godly woman. i don't care that you're not attractive.'

94. 'you float my ark.'

95. "I've been called the 11th Plague of Egypt: Boogy Fever."

96. "as Shammah the son of Agee a Hararite protected the field of lentils, so i wish to protect you."

97. "you make me want to be a better Christian."

98. "i will never give you reason to hammer a tent peg through my skull."

99. "i predicted David over Goliath... now I'm betting on you and me."

100. "if you were staying for the tribulation, i would consider staying too.. but then i would probably leave."

101. "if you were a leper, i would still hold your hand.. even if it wasnt attached."

102. "i would have asked you out to dinner, but i just put all my money in the offetory basket."

103. "Hi, I'm Calvin. You were meant to choose me."

104. "Unlike the Israelites, who forgot the Lord, I will remember your name most of the time."

105. "you are a galations 5 fruit salad."

106. "i mentioned you in my testimony."

107. "can you make your decision, because im keen to build a commemorative altar and bunnings is shutting in 15 minutes."

108. "shotgun."

109. "the perseverance of the saints is well illustrated by the amount of time I spend talking to you."

110. "the Lord Jesus was into carpentry. Im doing an apprenticeship."

******************* NEW ********************

111. "If you were my wife, I would never make you pretend to be my sister. That would be too damaging to my reputation."

112. "I would bring your father twelve-hundred Philistine foreskins for just one date with you."

113. "I saw Chris Tomlin in concert once."

114. "Last week, I read Jeremiah, Isaiah and Ezekiel. It's all part of my 'Read-The-Bible in 30 days Course'."

Offline csfetscher <L>

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Re: Funny Christian Pick up lines
« Reply #1 on: August 31, 2009, 08:33:16 PM »
Some of those are really funny, I think the below is my favorite it gave me a good LOL.

Quote
15. "i believe one of my ribs belongs to you."

Offline 3-16Solowe

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Re: Funny Christian Pick up lines
« Reply #2 on: August 31, 2009, 09:21:07 PM »
HAHA, those sre good!!! :lol: :lol:

Offline [R4C]Lucky14

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Re: Funny Christian Pick up lines
« Reply #3 on: August 31, 2009, 09:58:46 PM »
"not a big fan of your last name, but thats cool, i can change that."

that is not a good one...
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Offline Jojopython

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Re: Funny Christian Pick up lines
« Reply #4 on: September 01, 2009, 11:03:08 AM »
nice
The annoying bugger attack spam!

 


MrMascotMan

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Re: Funny Christian Pick up lines
« Reply #5 on: September 03, 2009, 03:58:08 AM »
hahaha..yeah, I like some of them like 38. "now i know why Solomon had 700 wives... Because he never met you."
I thought that one was hilarious but humor is like everything else, it's in the eye of the beholder :)